Monday, September 12, 2011

Top 5 Movies That Legit Made Me Cry

Okay, I’ll admit it. We’ve all seen Pokemon The Movie and cried at the part when Ash is turned to stone, but aside from tear-worthy childhood traumas, there are some movies that legit would make anyone cry when they watched it.

So, if you’re suffering a bout of masochism (can you suffer from that?) here are my Top 5 Movies That Legit Made Me Cry.

Shall I jump from here? Higher?5. Up (2009)
I didn’t say this would be easy. Pixar has gotten into the habit of pulling the tear-jerking heartstrings. I usually go to the theater with the hopes to have fun, but sometimes Pixar likes to stab its audience in the chest with an iron poker and give a few good twists.

In the case of Up, not only do they give a few twists, they actually attach the poker to a power drill and hit the ‘go’ button for about thirty seconds. It’s actually the first thing they set out to do in this movie, and then the rest of the film feels like an hour-and-a-half-long apology for making us want to commit suicide.

Rotten Tomatoes gives this movie a 98%, which is absurdly high by Rotten Tomatoes standards. Overall it’s an enjoyable action/adventure family movie- it better be after what they did to the beginning of it.
“The humor gets weirder as it goes on and it’s among the lightest of Pixar’s films, but the first 20 minutes offer the saddest, most poignant sequence seen in an animation film since Bambi’s mother died.”
~Johnathan Romney

Spare no one. Not even the children.4. Kramer vs. kramer (1979)
I’m fortunate enough to come from a fairly well-functioning family unit, and if you are too, you’ll obviously be looking for a dose of the torture you’re missing out on! For those of us who don’t want to experience the pain of divorce first-hand, Kramer vs. Kramer is available on Netflix instant watch!

No, really, all the movies that I’ll be listing in this top 5 are fantastic, so you should go watch it. Just beware that this is number 4 on my list of top 5 gut-wrenching bawl-inducing movies.

Kramer vs. Kramer spends the entire show getting you to fall in love with the characters. Then the film proceeds to throw them all in a wood-chipper, re-arrange them in a pseudo-functional manner with superglue, and then place that back into the wood chipper. And you just can’t help but stare at it.

I mean, come on. Look at that kid.

I don’t generally trust Rotten Tomatoes on older movies since they don’t really get enough reviews to receive a fair percentage, but since this movie is an Oscar-winning classic, it has enough that I’m willing to quote it. RT gives this movie an 85%.
“A high class modern weepie.”
~ Geoff Andrew

Garunteed tears or your money back.3. Bridge to Terabithia (2007)
I want you to imagine, for a moment, a baby duckling following its mother. No, several baby ducklings. They’re cute and fluffy and waddle around. They’ll follow their mother everywhere- even across the street. If you’re the innocent passerby cooing over the train of ducklings, Bridge to Terabithia is that asshole mack truck driver who just ran them over, laughed maniacly, and then proceeded to put the truck in reverse.

Grotesque descriptions aside, this movie has several beautiful moments- which is probably why it has the power to make grown men awkwardly tear up next to each other. I still think about this movie today as one of the best please-let-me-die moments of my life.

The tomatometer reads at 86%, which is a go-see movie in my book, at least. The audience gave it a lower 71%, which is still pretty good all things considered. The general consensus on audience reviews is that it’s the kind of movie you look back on and enjoy, since, well, Bridge to Terabithia does love to kill your heart’s ducklings.
“Bridge to Terabithia the movie, like the book, is buckets-of-tears sad. Director Csupo and company manage to get that — the simple power of a story about kindred souls, about loss, about the limitless possibilities of a lively mind — just right.”
~ Steven Rea

As if my love-life weren't tragic enough.2. Cinema Paradiso (1988) - Director’s Cut
I specify the director’s cut because the director’s cut is so dramatically different from the theatrical cut. The theatrical version is more mainstream, it feels like, and it’s also an hour shorter. The director’s cut, however, digs into different themes that each character represents and results in an eye-exploding ending that makes you want to crawl under your bed and never come out.

This movie is classified as a drama, which is accurate, but the director’s cut also adds in a more intense romance theme throughout. But don’t be fooled, boys, you’ll also enjoy this movie. I challenge you to watch this and not have waterfalls spring from your face by the time it’s over.

This is another classic movie that has a fair number of reviews on RT. It’s also one of the interesting cases where the audience expressed much more appreciation for it than the critics did. Critics: 89%, Audience: 96%.
“Where the original release was an essay in childish delight and adolescent longing, topped off by a muted coda implying that you really can go home again, the reissue is a fully realized epic of the heart.”
~ Ty Burr

Why god, why?1. Grave of the Fireflies (1988)
The big daddy of all death-by-drowning movies is, undoubtedly, Grave of the Fireflies. As if the title weren’t hint-hint enough…

Grave of the Fireflies (Hotaru no haka) is a story that follows two children’s attempts to survive WWII Japan. It deals with a range of themes, from a grand-scale society’s reaction to war all the way down to a little girl’s enjoyment of the simple things in life. It’s an emotional roller-coaster not meant for the weak of heart.

At least watch it with some friends, so you can console each other afterward. Or something like that. *finishes tying noose*

Critics on RT give a 96% while the audience gives it a 93%. Not much of a difference and the general consensus is that this movie is a must-see. Oh, by the way: It’s a Studio Ghibli film. Those words alone make it a film-lover’s requirement.
“An emotional experience so powerful that it forces a rethinking of animation.”
~ Roger Ebert

1 comment:

  1. I have not seen four of those movies. I am not sure what that implies, but will say I found the kid in Kramer vs. Kramer annoying. I have nothing against a good theater cry, so I look into some of your suggestions soon.