Showing posts with label Zooey Deschanel. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Zooey Deschanel. Show all posts

Monday, August 15, 2011

An awful director

M. Night Shyamalan
M. Night Shyamalan

Questions like this make me feel like a horrible person, honestly. Because obviously the guy’s directed more movies than I have (which is 0. Unless you count my short film. Which would make it 1, which is still fewer than our good friend Shyamalan.)

But I got myself into this mess so now I have to get out of it by answering. So I’ve selected M. Night Shyamalan, and here’s why:

Evidence A: The Village (2004)
Evidence A: The Village

In Shyamalan’s defense, The Village was a decent movie. It was pretty much what I expected it to be going in. It didn’t wow me, but I did go with friends and I had a fun two hours in the theater. If I go to a movie and have fun while I’m there, I consider it successful. I present The Village as Evidence A, however, because this is the beginning of an eight-year landslide to train-wreck city. Most of the reviews for this movie were negative, and I can see why. If you go into it looking for the twist ending, you’ll be disappointed to find it’s obvious within the first twenty minutes.

Evidence B: Lady in the Water (2006)
Evidence B: Lady in the Water

I’m hard pressed to say which is more boring: Twilight or Lady in the Water. I suppose a redeeming quality of this movie is that it’s NOT Twilight.

Evidence C: The Happening (2008)
Evidence C: The Happening

A movie in which nothing happens.

And most importantly, I present to you…

Evidence D: The Last Airbender (2010)
Evidence D: The Last Airbender

It’s one thing to screw up your own movie. It’s another to screw up mine.

The Last Airbender is based off of this awesome cartoon. Of which I’m a huge fan. And this movie is an unforgivable slight against an exciting, well-developed, well-loved, respectable animated television series.

The Last Airbender is riddled with scenes that were obviously designed to hold kick-ass CG effects that weren’t there. The story deviates drastically (and for the worse) from the series. The races of the characters make no sense. It was anti-climatic. They repeatedly mispronounced the main character’s name. And worst of all, it gave the cartoon series a bad rep for anyone who hadn’t seen it yet.

To be honest, it’s this movie that makes me answer the question of “an awful director” with one M. Night Syamalan.

At least Appa was pretty cool.

Appa is the shit

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

A film you’ve walked out on, or wanted to

The Happening (2008)
The (nothing is) Happening

Could someone please tell me what happened to The Happening? Seriously? Why was this movie so BAD? Why did this happen- I just don’t understand how bad movies are made. Don’t they know they’re bad when they’re making it? How does this- why does- it’s just wrong.

I spent the whole movie waiting for something clever. Waiting for the movie to have a point, for the characters to figure something out, for someone- anyone- to do something.

Instead, I got something remotely less interesting than a nature documentary on dirt.

I would have walked out of this movie if I didn’t get into it for free. Still, I should have done it anyway just to spare myself the pain.